The mothers in my life - in honor of Mother's Day.  I was not able to grow up with my own mother. But I have other women who performed to me in one way or another like a mother. They deserve to be commemorated.

I was in the sling with SC for more than a year since birth. She carried me everywhere she went and whatever she did. I loved being with her, I cried like a maniac if I was left without her. She was my mom in many sense. She never called me by the slurs given by others because of my darker skin.

There was this older lady CG who took care of me and my siblings. She was very kind to us.. Because she was too busy with chores, she let us kids play on the street and do whatever we liked. We had a happy and blissful time.

BK was a mother in many sense as far as physical need is concerned. But nothing emotional. She ran the household like her profession. Everything spic and span, disinfected. But diseases did find places to grow, especially at our inner beings. Eventually, everyone left her and she had to face the demon in her own life. When I visited her the last time. She was an Alzheimers patient in an nursing home. For the first time, she was willing to face the fact that she needed God's love and forgiveness. I look forward to seeing her happy face in eternity.

She was a younger sister of BK. Much to the displeasure of her older sister, who liked to be in control of everyone under her, she went to a seminary. She came to visit from time to time. I remember her being very kind and sweet. She genuinely love us kids as no others did. She would tell us strories with big pictures from the Bible. She would pray for us and have us pray with her word for word. Though I could hardly understood the magnitude, we would gladly follow with our heads bow and our knees bent on soft pads by our bunk beds because we understood it was something out of love. She was a good semstress. She made beautiful dresses for her younger sister. They were so feminine, unique yet practical. I was so pleased those dresses eventually got passed on to me after my sister. When I was about 8, I was told one day this aunt got very sick in the hospital. I was packed with a little suitcase to take to her. I'd been to the hospital a few times with others. This was a solo trip. I only knew the number of the bus I was suppose to get on. When I disembarked, I had yet to walk half an hour among  busy streets to find my way through. When I got there to her room, she was lying in a bed unconscious with her friends surrounding her and praying for her. Few days later, we were told that she passed away. I was so distraught. I kept asking God 'why?' I came to the conclusion for many years after, that God did not care. Until when I was well on my own spiritual journal, I realize God is always thinking far ahead of us and doing what is best for us. A year ago when I visited my father, he made the comment that he was quite amazed how my siblings and I turn out when we were only with him the lowest time of his life. None of us end up with big problems or  became parasite of the society like his other osprings did. I explained to him the credit of those prayers. God answers them and is still answering them.

I had several favorite teachers, especially the ones who could tell good stories. One time I was in an accident and had to be raced to the hospital by an ambulance. I was crying out loud a teacher's name in my unconsciousness, no body else's.

D was my good friend. We lived in the same area. I often went to her little apartment to watch movie on the little black & white TV with her whole family. I didn't even like the silly kung-fu movies. But I like to be with her family. Her very old grandmother was constantly making little steam cakes. Her step mother would show me how to do simple sewing and make lunch for me to take to school. D had two little step siblings, we thought the world of them. I thought her step mother was the kindest woman in the world. I so wish I could locate their whereabout after all these years.

M's mother was a widow. Her husband died before her second child was born. She had to work very hard to raise two little children after the war. She was religious but a true believer in her heart. M always ridiculed and challenged her mother's belief who never get mad at her daughter, only tried to explain to her  patiently. Because there was an outlet to express herself , M grew up to be a very sensible person. Having experience trials in life in the later years after her mother passed away, M matures a lot and comes to know her need of a Savior. We have many talks about spiritual things on the phone. Now she is able to do what her mom used to do to her with others. I had thr privilege to live in their little apartment for a year and call her mother 'mom'.

I went to a student group when I was seaching. The group was led by a young couple a bit senior than the rest of us, not a whole lot. They act as surrogated parents to the group of students. Opened up their homes and giving guidance in many ways. I am forever grateful to them, because of them, I was found by my Savior - the ultimate lover of my soul.

Rev. and Mrs. K were retired missionaries. They were a pair of grandparents to the students. We learned, sang, cooked, had fun under their loving guidance. Their fruits are all over the country. Many many people's new lives are credited to them unknowingly.

Mrs. I was a widow who lived in the tiniest townhouse I have ever known. She had a hard life when her husband was an alchoholic who came in and out of her life. She welcomed me to hold a Bible club in her tiny basement for the neighborhood children. She was so pleased and proud of what we could accomplish together to spread the good news. I wish I did a better job to keep in touch with her.

H was the wife of another missionary. She was a busy mother of many children. Yet she made time to minister to us singles. She was the ideal mother. Kind and motherly. The girls had a bridle shower for me and H took on the responsibility of preparing a fancy desert for the occasion. I went to visit her the last time when she was striken with  ALS.  For several years, she had to lay in bed while different organs of hers started to shut down one by one. She bore it with immense grace.

I could have adopted her as my mom if I knew she was desperate of being needed. She was a good woman and made good food.  I met her twice. Her only son did not want her to live with him because of girlfriend problem. She was considering to rent the apartment which we would be moving out of. Couple years later, we read in the newspaper that she threw herself into a shallow river and died. Did I ever missed her especially when our first child came into the world.

Ms. B came to visit me with her sister-in-law when my second child was born. She had polio when she was young. So she was on crutches. But she would still climb the little hill with great effort to visit us. I was so glad to see her every time. She was so sweet and loved to fuss over my children. I was so glad our second home did not have slope or steps to climb, so she could come to us easier. She loved the Lord. The children and I often had tea in her basement apartment too. When her brother retired, she had to move with him to a different town quite far away. She lived in a care home away from her kins. I promised to viist her before we moved out west. But I failed her twice. She never get to say goodbye to us. When we resettled, I was so busy and always forgot to phone her. I believe she died of a heavy heart and I was broken by a guilty heart. But I am glad God took her to a better place. I look forward to be reunited with her.

Mrs. H was 90 years old. She lived in one of the oldest home in town. She still managed to grow beautiful flowers in her garden. The children and I visited her from time to time and she served us tea and cookies. Her house was never renovated. The kitchen was more like a closet. She enjoyed our company. The kids were like two little pets scuttling around the table. She would tell me what she used to do when she was young - like climbing up to the church's bell tower to clean the bells. The best things was to visit her garden when the flowers were in bloom. She ran a clothline across the yard where she could hold on to when she was out there. She even gave me flower seeds for my garden. I never forget the little blue flex, it is like her, every part of it is for good use. The flowere is dainty and pretty. The seed is a good source of Omega-3. The fiber is often used for making clothing materials. I also have seeds from the seeds of the mauve double poppy she gave me. They survive in my garden enen now. Mrs. H was getting too old to live alone. She finally sold her house and move in with her daughter in another town. We went to visit her once. She was still well then.

Then there was grandma W. She and her husband were the most in love couple I had ever seen. Grandma W was born to a very rich father who lost his business when she was young and ended up to be the poorest orphan in town. Grandpa W was a small, but strong, and hard working man. He bragged about beating a 6 ft. man by carrying a heavier load. We met them at the children's school. There grand daughters were my children's friends. Being a lonely housewife and mother in the rural area. I had my eyes on this sweet little couple.
I got to know them quite a bit. The two made wonderful things with their hands. Grandma W had a roomful of handmade dolls. Each of them was different. She made everything down to the last stitches and had a story of each doll. It was facinating to me. Grandpa W cut out wooden little animals about 1.5 ft. tall and painted them for us to decorate our lawn. Grandma also made knitted animals, slippers etc. for our children. It was as if they were couple of elfs, kept producing lovely things for the children.  I always went to their house where they served me homemade goodies. The children had dress up play with their grandchildren.
Then grandma was found with breast cancer. She had to have masectomy. I brought them stir fry.
She was very pleased. The school was not doing too well. I was so piggish that I complained about it to her,
not thinking how much pain it would have caused her inwardly while she was fighting with the disease. Still, she listened patiently and empathized with me. After the children changed school. They did not see them as much anymore. But one time, I had to call them for emergency from a gas station to take me home. They were so sweet to come right away. They were like my family. But I did'nt even take the children to say goodbye to them before we moved west because of the business of life. Shortyly after, grandma was in her final fight with cancer. I knew she was in so much pain. But she still wrote me letters until I told her not to do it anymore because I wanted her to spend time with her family. She gave me her last word - that we will see each other in heaven. After she passed away, grandpa sent me her photo and two dolls she made - a boy and a girl - Jack and Jill, for each of our children. They are still sitting in the china cabinet today. I grieved as if I lost a mother. but I kept it from my children, thinking it might hurt them. In retrospect, I did not do them any favour, for I kept them from the privilege of grieving for someone we loved and lost, and learning about the reality of 'life'.  A few year later, Jo and I went back to the city to visit grandpa. He was a lonely man without grandma. I felt so sorry for him. When I sent him a hat and a sweater one year, he was very pleased. Couple years later, his son phoned and said his father had passed away. He too had received the Lord into his heart. So I shall be seeing them both.

Still, there is the first mother and the last mother I know.  Too little had happened between us and too much had happened around us. I was mad that she wasn't there and I used to reject her whenever she came to visit us kids, but grateful for the times when she was willing to lend a hand to help me out of the unbearable situations. We kept in touch on and off all those years. But not much could be said because of circumstances. I visited her after the melt down of the stock market in 2008. She seemed to slow down quite a bit. She had grown so used not talking about her troubles to me for different reasons. We  had a good visit that time. Just the two of us for the first time in our lives. We strolled in the beautiful garden leisurely. That was the perfect moment which I had been waiting for. We were so immersed in each other's company. She loves flowers, she used to grow beautiful roses in California. We even went to church together.  She enjoyed the speaker's talk which echoed her heartache and disappointment toward puting trust in money and wealth. A year and half later, I visited her agin. She had gone downhill a lot. Most of her friends had passed away. Seldom anyone called on her. Her children and grandchildren were too pre-occupied. She lost a lot of her memory. We managed to have lunch in downtown and walked around the commercial centres which she likes. She smiled and waved to me with longings when I saw her off in the taxi the last time. I called her quite often after I got home. She persistently asked me to go visit her again. Six months ago, her husband passed away. Though she is not very much aware of the difference, for he was in the hospital for quite a while. Life is even quieter than before. If she is in a bad mood because of discomfort or pain, when I called her,  she could'nt even remember who I am.

But God says, 'Though a mother may forget her child, I will not forget you! See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands;' He has sent many women of virtues to mother me. Time is fleeting, we are drifted apart by life, we never know if it is the last time we see each other. My consolation is to see them in  their new bodies when we meet each other again in new heaven and earth. When that comes, we shall have unlimited time together.