It took Moses 40 years tending the sheep in the desert to get to know God and to know himself. It took me 30 years. Not bad in comparison! Though I thought I knew it all 30 years ago. Little did I knew God was still trying to get through to me. I wish I knew sooner that I didn't have to try so hard to be good.
As far as 'submission' goes, that word really doesn't sit well with me no matter how hard I tried. I often had this feeling I was trying to hold a great big ballon under water, when I became exhausted, it bobbed up again. So time over time, I was defeated and frustrated. Until the last year or so, from 'Foundations of Living', I heard the words 'trading in' repeated in every lesson. I like it, it sounds far more simple to trade in my bad attitude for the good one with God. He just take it away as soon as I hand it to him. And I can say ' no thank you, I don't want it back' as often as I want to to him. He is such a great dad, he doen't mind keeping all my filts and junks. So here I am, trading worries, angers, fears for peace, joy and hope. No amount of money can buy them.

I am turned 57 a month ago. Hard to imagine in the past 55 years that one day I would wear black in any non-funeral occasions. To day, I wore my black suit. (After trying very hard to find a color shirt to go with it. I finally went back to my off white shirt with the pretty collar.) They look pretty sharp together. I was actually afraid to attract too much attention. My daughter loves black and it looks good on her.
I guess my disliking of it was due to its sombreness. It did not evoke any excitement in me.
But lately, something changed inside me that I actually find comfort in it. The other day, I even read an article by a Christian writter who talked about the 'black present' he received from God - a fluke car accident that caused him and his wife to lay in hospital beds for three months in his last week of visit to Vancouver. But during this time, he received all kinds of help, love and prayer and surprises from the Christian community. It turned out to be a blessing in disguise. I looked back in my life. Yes, I had quite a few of those presents too. They actually drew me closer to God. For he is the only one who could understand and helped me not to lose hope. I felt the warmth of being cradled in his arms. Yes, I do appreciate black presents, may be at times I didn't think so.

Poor Alice and Andrew, fighting for their lives again in the hospital, probably for the six or seven rounds. How far can one pushes it's health? Years of working long hours. Something like from 7am to 7 pm plus a couple hours on the road. Of course company would not lay off dedicated people like them. If only they acknowledged earlier their bodies are temples of God and let God has his say instead of giving them all to the world. So what does success and money have to do with the owners if they cannot enjoy them ? But God loves them so much that he cannot bear to see them losing all. Through their illnesses, they are wakened up from their futile dreams.

Had so much fun doing Bible study with Kim on Saturday and sharing each others' burdens. God is awesome how he changed Kim in the last few months. It seems the slow movie has suddenly pick up it's speed and rolled to the exciting part. Imagine someone like her who was so ingrained in Hinduism trying to understandl God. Ted was right, the ressurrected Kim was still wrapped around by the burial cloth which has finally come off. Good thing you stick around, Kim! God has surely heard your call.
We had fun going to the Indian Dawali (light)Festival last week. Enjoyed the music, crafts food and dance. It was neat how they dressed up two men to be an elephant. It looked and acted almost like real. Wouldn't mind to learn some of their dances from Kim someday.

Woke up with a bubbly feeling in my heart couple mornings ago, thanking God for the season of my life; for my new found freedom in the Holy Spirit; for sweet fellowship, for the privilege of serving Him. I am surprise the same feeling is still with me dispite the fact that the taxman is still at my door; the parent who didn't want to pay, quited; the sudden intruder with her 6'5" husband and 2' daughter whom I never heard from any more. God has funny ways to catch me offguard inorder to chisel off the stubborn and proud me.

I can only thank Him because He said all things work together for good for those who love him.

He can even use my mistakes to turn them into blessings. That is, if I let him into those situations instead of handling them in my own ways. My job is just to call on my heavenly father for help like a little child.

Sometimes I don't even know what He is up to but I want to believe that he is always planning wonderful things to surprise me.

It was a nice meeting with the Montessori committee girls last Tuesday. So much of the rigidity of the last board has gone. No more 'motion' and 'second'. Yeepee...Shauna's performance as the replace for the 'Chair' is stunning. She seemed so quiet the first time I met her. Admire her youth and energy. Probably she enjoys learning and travelling so much. She knows more about China than I do since she taught a year there. Norita and Vanessa are both so sweet, hard working young teachers, never complaint of their heavy load. Helen, our tresurer, is a cheeri bird with gleeful notes even when she is buried under a big pile of numbers. Even Farah is loosening up. Wonder what Magie thinks of this new batch? Will she report us to Andrea and put us back in straight jackets? O0000psss.....I am so glad I can be of little service to the board sometimes. I hope they continue to accept me the way I am.

Oh boy, Christmas is around the corner already. Of course, no one knows the exact date of Jesus's birth. In fact early Christians chose the same day when the pagans celebrated their sun god, inorder that they would not meet with persecution while they were actually celebrating the birth of Christ. Smart folks! Date does not matter. The important thing is, Jesus has come. Can't imagine what this world would be like without Christ rewritting his-tory. We would still be under the oppression of the dark forces, like many who do not have freedom of access to the lover of our souls. God must be so patient with us, after 2000 year, the truth of Christianity is still struggling to be surfaced, to be freed from human hampering or tangling.
So, let us rejoice, not with food and drink only. But with the spirit of Christ, giving to the poor and the weak, to the undeserved without questioning. For Christ has also come for us who are of all the above.