It was refreshing to see the subject brought up to the public attention at Doc Zone, Newsworld last night- Why has civility disappeared in our world? People are so self seeking and self serving that manners and ettiquette become the 'dirty words'. You can sit across the table with a friend who want to visit with you but she ended up talking on her cell half of the time or listen to the person behind you in the cinema answering her call. Kids put on their IPod at the dinner tables or do whatever they please because they are told it is their lives and it is their right. Friends stop short in a conversation on the internet without warning or sign off for whatever reasons they have. E-mail messages that are never answered or returned.

How does all these make each other feel? That is no one's concern or interest as long as we can do it to each other. So are we farther ahead in our rights or personal relationship? One may say so, if we do not count the casualities along the side of roads. Can we blame it all on technology? Surprisingly not. How about the people who use technology? Uh, it is doubtful too. Who then can be blamed? ---The hands that raised the generation who use the technology.

You must be kidding! Oh yes, though it is hard to believe. Who put the T-shirts with the printing
"I'm the boss' or 'Princess' or ' Spoiled' on the babies. Those of us who had lived through the wars or post wars era thought we went through enough struggles in our lives, our babies are goinging to be free from poverty and social constrains. We just want them to be happy at any cost. We became the attorneys and advocates for our children who challenge every set of rules inside or outside the homes.

So the beings who are raised in the warm house of 'permissibility' grown up to be beautiful narcissus admiring their own images day and night. Their mission for life is to amass all the toys to build castles around themselves. Well then, they must be very successful! Unfortunately, the statistic says, 'no'. Why is it so? One may ask. 'Well, it is because they carry their narcisstic
attitude everywhere they go, they neglect the social responsibility toward people who are around
them, they live in the world of their own kind and they cannot do well anywhere else', said Dr. Forni of 'Choosing Civility'. Well, one may hopes that the pendulum of civility which swings between the scrupulous etteque of the last few centuries and the present day lackadaisical mannerisum finally slows down and finds its proper bearing. It shouldn't be a concern of how to use the cutleries perfectly, nor inorder to fit into special social groups, nor to be meticulous in appearance, nor just carrying out my individual rights. The prime motive is that of caring for the feeling of others as you would have others do to you. Where shouldl this movement begin? The best is in our homes and classrooms.

'The secret of the nutcracker' - a different version of the 'nutcraker' . It was WWII . Clara and her mom and brothers live in a little house near the wood. Her father had gone to war and was being captured by the enemy and put in prison camp. When she walked pass the wood one day, she met a old man who dressed like an owl (the owl's impersonator). She invited the old man to come to her house and have dinner with her family who was very poor. The old man gave her a present - a nutcracker. That night she had a dream. She dreamt the nutcracker helped her to fight off enemies and broke into the prison camp to find her father who was thin and sick.

She took her father almost all the way back home. They stopped at a beautiful place with birds of paradise dancing around them. The father was very happy to be with his daughter. But he said that was not where he wanted to stay. He would really like to go home to see the rest of his family.

Clara woke up still longing for her dad. The family were told some prisoners in the camp tried to escape and were shot down. They feared the worst. On Christmas day, Clara went for a walk in
the wood alone. She saw someone walking toward her in the distance. She was overjoy when she found out it was her dad.

Though the origional "Nutcracker' was a beautiful story in extraordinary settings and music, somehow it is still a dream to me. But this other Clara, I can identify with her.

So the American dream was busted - just like a bubble. Who are there to cheer on? The little children - the innocents. Now they can have their preoccupied parents back into the families, doing what families should be doing (like working or playing together in the snow) instead of running around trying to make more bubbles.





So what do you expect if you take the steel frames away from a building? It becomes a house of cards which cannot withstand the slightest breeze. What do you get when you take away Jesus out of the families, classrooms and societies? there is no truth anywhere anymore. Our world becomes a dungeon filled with wild beasts devouring each other. Can it really be that bad? Think - politicians or government heads manuver policies based on greed and ambition, denying humanity. (President Bush and his cohorts said their country has been safe since 9/11. Safe from what? Most of the hurrican victims are still waiting for help, almost the whole world was dragged down financially by the American controlled stock market). Supreme court judges favour the criminals, CEO's care more about their own pockets than products or workers, university professors teach pride of knowledge, confusing wrong with right , creating more people of the above, media advocates more tolerance on immorality. Children are rebellious in the classrooms and families become delapidated warm houses.





Was the old days any better? Not necessary. Depend on how you looked at it in history. There were a lot more fiercesome battles during WWI and WW2. There were tens of thousands soldiiers and civilians died in different countries. But people knew they were dying for the right cause and they had hope in life after death.





I remember when I first stayed in Toronto 40 years ago, people bragged that they did not have to lock their front doors in the downtown part of the city at night. Forty years is a relatively short time. To me, it is like the blink of my eyes. Our world is getting smaller but more complicated as a result. We tried to reach out or solve problems with our own device, it is like trying to put out the California fire with a stong wind blowing on our back.




And Jesus talks about building a house on the sand.